It’s Okay to Miss Who You Were Before You Became a Mom

Have you ever ever let your thoughts wander again to a time earlier than you turned a mother? In that case, did you assume, “wow, I actually miss that?” As a result of I definitely have on many events, and I at all times really feel responsible about it. Properly, mama, that is the permission slip that tells you it’s okay to overlook who you have been earlier than changing into a mother.

So many issues change if you develop into a mother, and it’s pure to overlook who you have been earlier than your youngsters got here alongside. You must by no means really feel responsible about lacking who you was. The period earlier than youngsters is one piece of you, and all of the items match collectively to inform your complete story.

You Develop a “New Regular”

Having a child brings so many modifications. Carrying a child biologically modifications your physique in a number of methods, each bodily and emotionally. Your physique and your mind change throughout being pregnant and after you give beginning. By way of bizarre bodily modifications alone, my ft bought greater (!!!), I’ve stretch marks, and I bought my first cavity. Earlier than my first son was born, I used to be an early 30’s profession girl and immediately turned a stay-at-home mother. Discuss an enormous emotional adjustment! I went by a interval of mourning for who I was as so many issues modified for me shortly. I additionally suffered from each postpartum despair and postpartum nervousness with my youngsters, which significantly impacted my life.

Your Priorities Shift

Your priorities change if you develop into a mother. Earlier than having youngsters, my profession was my id. I lived and breathed it. A nasty day at work would affect my temper for days at a time. On account of the pandemic, I stayed house with my firstborn for 18 months, which was by far the toughest job I’ve ever had. That transition interval was most likely essentially the most difficult time in my life. It was not till I went again to work when he was 18 months outdated that I spotted I might have a chunk of who I used to be (a profession girl) that slot in with my new id as a mother.

In the end, I made up my mind that stay-at-home-mom was not the suitable job for me in the long term. I went again to my profession, however as a totally completely different particular person. I now “clock in and clock out” and stay up for getting house each day to my youngsters, not carrying baggage house from the workplace. What occurs at work stays at work. I not let one unhealthy day at work affect my temper after work and past. That is one change that has been for the higher since changing into a mother, and I completely love how my perspective in the direction of work has fully shifted. It’s a a lot more healthy stability throughout.

Your Relationships Adapt

My husband and I have been just lately out to lunch, reminiscing about our relationship’s early and carefree days. We’d go on journeys, exit to the bar, play board video games, or binge TV exhibits for hours. We have now so many enjoyable recollections of simply the 2 of us. Whereas I miss these days we had with no care on the planet, we’re busy creating new recollections as a household of 4. Recollections I might have by no means dreamed of once I was single or newly married.

You Expertise Bodily Modifications

The modifications that I’ve skilled in changing into a mom have been not solely emotional but additionally bodily. From a superficial standpoint, I miss how my physique regarded earlier than I had youngsters. I might train every time I wished to. I had time to eat and linger over a leisurely meal, and I used to be not scarfing down my toddler’s rooster nuggets once I’d have a spare second to eat.

My ft bought wider, and I had to purchase all new sneakers! To not point out the brand new garments I wanted to purchase to accommodate my widened hips and huge breasts. My physique fully modified, and whereas I miss what I used to appear like, I additionally maintain area to honor and recognize my physique for all it has executed for me. I carried and delivered two youngsters inside two and a half years! That’s no small feat, and I’m so grateful for my physique and all it has executed for me.

You Develop

You may stay in a second the place you like your self as a mom and concurrently miss who you was. Having youngsters modifications you at a mobile degree, and there’s a clear inflection level of “earlier than” and “after” youngsters. I’ve fond recollections of who I was earlier than I had youngsters, and once I dig very deep, I do know that model of me remains to be in there someplace, deep down.

Mama, I hope you may look again on the recollections of who you have been earlier than you turned a mother within the fondest method and honor that point in your life for what it was whereas additionally celebrating who you might be right this moment.

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