You may need heard of safe attachment and even about tiger mothers. However have you ever heard of an elephant mother? How we mother or father our kids has a long-term affect on their well being and happiness. Our parenting model is the sample of behaviors, values, and common strategy we have now to boost our kids, together with the best way we reply and make calls for of our little ones.1
We convey our expectations, morals, attitudes, and love by participating and speaking with them. Our parenting model has a long-lasting affect on our kids’s different relationships, their vanity, their academic achievements, and even their psychological well-being.2 If you happen to’re on the lookout for a parenting model that works for you and your loved ones, you would possibly wish to study concerning the elephant mother strategy.
What Is an Elephant Mother?
It appears like a zoo on the market with tiger mothers, dolphin mothers, and now elephant mothers. What are all of them about, and is there a distinction? Nicely, the time period “elephant mother” or “elephant mother or father” took place in an article titled “Being an ‘Elephant Mother’ within the Time of the Tiger Mother” by Priyanka Sharma-Sindhar.3 She was exploring her challenges relating to being a form and nurturing mom at a time when being a tiger mother (strict, ultra-involved) was well-liked. The time period comes from elephant conduct — they’re identified for having robust bonds with their infants and have nurturing, protecting, and concerned household teams. These are behaviors or values that Priyanka outlined as being vital to how elephant moms elevate their kids.6
Indicators You’re an Elephant Mother
Though parenting is generally intuition, we mother or father the best way we had been parented or primarily based on what we have now seen or skilled. Nevertheless, many individuals select to interrupt cycles or wish to be extra intentional of their strategy to elevating their kids. So, exploring parenting types and figuring out which you most align with is crucial. Some indicators that recommend you’re an elephant mom or elephant mother or father are:3,7
Elephant mother and father assist their kids emotionally. They’re attuned to their little one’s wants and pushed to satisfy them by offering reassurance, consolation, and encouragement. This creates a heat, responsive environment the place kids really feel accepted, beloved, and protected.
Elephant mother and father aren’t strict and don’t push their kids in the identical method a tiger mother would possibly. However they’ve guidelines and bounds as a result of they prioritize maintaining their kids protected and safe. They is likely to be extra more likely to monitor their children’ actions or attempt to maintain them away from hazard.
Elephant parenting is all about assist. Because of this the expectations of youngsters are applicable. As a result of they’re so heat and accepting, kids can really feel extra comfy reaching out for assist or, conversely, really feel safe sufficient to exit and discover the world. They’re additionally assured they’ll depend on their mother and father in the event that they need assistance.
That is the place there are some similarities to the tiger mother parenting model. Each mother and father are very concerned of their kids’s lives, however the distinction is that tiger mother and father will be vital at occasions or targeted on teachers or achievements. In distinction, elephant mothers are extra targeted on their kids’s pursuits. They’re engaged and supportive of their kids’s hobbies or ardour initiatives and take the time to hear or be concerned in these areas.
Advantages of the Elephant Parenting Fashion
The elephant parenting model is much like an authoritative parenting model, characterised by a excessive degree of expectation however an equally excessive degree of heat and emotional responsiveness. This implies mother and father are child-centered, and whereas they’ve excessive expectations, they again this up with assist, steerage, and instructing their kids handle their feelings or remedy issues. They encourage independence however make sure that they welcome their kids with open arms when issues get robust and so they want consolation or security.4
These sorts of parenting types (authoritative and elephant) can lead to:1,4,5
- Elevated independence
- Elevated resilience
- Higher problem-solving expertise
- Higher high quality relationships
- Larger achievements (academically)
- Higher compliance with boundaries/guidelines
Sure, there are each advantages and pitfalls related to each parenting model. However no matter which one you instinctively or deliberately comply with, do not forget that elevating our children is about love. All of the totally different parenting types are, not directly, other ways of expressing love, so it’s vital to recollect there is no such thing as a proper or unsuitable. Simply mother or father in a method that’s proper for your loved ones and makes you are feeling comfy and blissful.